March 14, 2004 | Yellow.

I've been feeling very despondent about my photography lately. I have developed a love/hate relationship with my digital camera. It's instant satisfaction, yet I just sense my pictures lack the depth and feeling, that used to be present in my 35mm photographs. I was looking through an album of photos taken during a year long stay in Italy, and was surprised at how much more interesting my compositions were back then, when I had control over depth of field. I'm very very happy with my lomo, and having used it for the past months have been so satisfied with the results. The final test was during my trip to Mexico. Out of over 100 digital photos, I was proud of only one shot (this one). Then I picked up my two rolls of film from West Camera, and had a handful of photos that actually captured the moment, and made me feel something. So it looks like old school film is back in, and it's time to unpack my Pentax, lenses and flash. On a negative note, I dropped my Diana today and the lens popped off. I hadn't even finished a roll of film yet. FUCK.

I was planning to write a little about my vacation, but lack the energy. When you have children, vacations aren't quite the same, especially when flying as a single mum, with nothing for one's daughter to play with on Air Mexicana, but a stale bun and a plastic fork. This could have been an ok situation, but her main strategy for the full five hours of flying, was to stab the passenger in the neighbouring seat with the plastic fork, while he concentrated very hard to avoid eye contact with both her and I.

There was also the unfortunate virus infection that she contracted, that led to a fun filled day at the Puerto Vallarta hospital. And then her molars broke through. But I don't want to put anyone off motherhood. It was well worth the walks on the beach, Pina Colada's by the pool and being surrounded by the most colourful and lush foliage I have seen since last year's Canada Blooms show.

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