September 27, 2005 | Home owner and super dad

My partner and I are officially proud home owners, but not of the same house. We now have separate homes, and begin the process of shared parenting in just over a week. It's been a tough year for both of us. I lost weight and confidence. He lost sleep and his father. So after much back and forth, flipping of coins, signatures, lawyers, child therapists, parenting plans, financial advisors and other expert advice, we are making the final split. Bittersweet. When I was struggling through years of infertility and failed pregnancy tests, I thought that nothing could top that in terms of how low one could sink into depression, but separating from one's partner after twelve years, exceeds those low points in ways that I can't even begin to describe here. But, please, no condolences. During the worst moments of 2005, a friend said to me that I had two choices. I could just go through the motions and start a new life, or I could go into the laneway, turn the car on, and run myself over, if separation was that painful. That advice truly helped me get through the roughest days. So thank you.

That being said, tomorrow I'm getting my hair chopped off. Looking in the mirror reminds me too much of the years low points and I badly need a fresh look. I'm tired of the old me. I'll post a picture tomorrow night.

It's a perfect time for new resolutions. Here's a few to get me started:
Stop procrastinating
Make my bed in the morning
Walk the dogs more
Change gyms and get back into a workout routine
Take more portrait photos
Maintain a sketchbook
Journal in the morning before L wakes up

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